Best Ex: Finding Freedom in the Music of Mariel Loveland

For Mariel Loveland, music has always been a way to make sense of the world around her. As the artist behind Best Ex, Loveland brings together the emotional honesty of emo, the melodic instincts of indie rock, and the nostalgia of alternative music. Her songwriting feels personal because it is personal. Her songs often read like pages from a diary, exploring relationships, insecurity, growing older, identity, and the complicated process of figuring out who you are.

That connection to emotionally driven music started when Loveland was young. She describes Blink 182 as an early gateway into pop punk, but it was discovering Bright Eyes as a teenager that truly changed the direction of her life. After hearing the music, she realized that songwriting did not have to require an entire band. One person, a guitar, and something to say could be enough. That realization made her think, “Maybe I can do it,” and eventually inspired her to pick up the guitar herself.

Her musical curiosity eventually led her deep into the world of emo and alternative rock. She discovered bands such as Sunny Day Real Estate and Texas Is the Reason, while Dashboard Confessional became one of her favorite bands during high school. Her connection to that scene was not simply about the sound. It was about the honesty and vulnerability embedded in the songwriting.

That influence followed Loveland into her career. Before Best Ex, she fronted Candy Hearts, a band that gave her years of experience performing and writing music. One of the more memorable moments from that chapter came in 2015, when she performed with Weezer at the Alternative Press Awards. Loveland remembers being so nervous that when the performance ended and Rivers Cuomo tried to hug her, she ran off stage. The moment was captured on video and has remained one of those unforgettable memories from her career.

Her history with Candy Hearts also shaped her development as a vocalist. Loveland openly admits that there was a learning curve as the band became more popular. She had the songwriting vision, but she did not always feel technically confident in her voice. That changed as she continued creating music, eventually reaching a point where she felt comfortable allowing her vocals to become more exposed within a pop oriented production.

That vulnerability is at the center of Best Ex.

One of the clearest examples is “Sick of Myself,” a song that turns the criticism she might normally direct outward back toward herself. Loveland explains that many of her earlier songs were vulnerable but focused on another person or an external situation. “Sick of Myself” goes deeper, examining what happens when the person you struggle with most is yourself.

The song explores the fear of walking into a room and wondering if everyone is laughing at you, questioning your personality, and worrying about whether people actually like you for who you are. Loveland even examines her own behavior, acknowledging moments when she may unintentionally come across as selfish or fail to give someone else the same attention she expects from them.

It is uncomfortable, honest, and completely human.

Loveland brings that same emotional perspective to her relationship songs. One of her songs was intentionally written as a waltz, creating the feeling of gracefully walking away from a relationship that is no longer good for you. She described the inspiration as the experience of being alone at home after a breakup, ordering takeout, trying to heal, and turning those emotions into music.

Rather than portraying heartbreak as something that requires anger or destruction, the song offers another possibility. Sometimes leaving can be an act of freedom. Loveland describes that moment of clarity when something you thought you wanted disappears, only for you to realize that your life actually feels lighter without it.

Her creativity extends beyond the songs themselves. For one lyric video, Loveland used old school stop motion techniques because she was still learning how to create and edit graphics. She physically cut out pieces of paper, photographed them frame by frame, and created the visual herself. The process took more than two weeks and left her entire house covered in scraps of paper.

That hands on approach reflects the independent spirit behind Best Ex. Loveland is not afraid to experiment, even when she is figuring things out as she goes.

Her latest work also shows how much her perspective has expanded. “Good Girl” takes on questions surrounding womanhood, identity, expectations, and the roles society places on women. Loveland wanted the song and its accompanying visuals to capture a nostalgic alternative rock feeling, combining elements that feel rooted in the past with her own modern perspective. She knew while writing it that she had found the direction she wanted for the album.

That balance between nostalgia and individuality is one of the strongest parts of Best Ex. Loveland can look backward without simply recreating the past. Her love for the music that shaped her is obvious, but she uses those influences as a foundation for something personal.

Her passion for great songwriting is especially clear when she talks about the music she loves. She considers John K. Samson one of the most underrated writers she has encountered in music and has a deep appreciation for the lyricism of Jawbreaker, particularly the album Dear You. She even revealed that she once wrote a song when she was younger about listening to Jawbreaker with her friends.

She also has a strong emotional connection to the Gin Blossoms. During the interview, she described hearing one of their songs for the first time as an almost overwhelming experience. Later, she recalled listening to “Not Only Numb” while on tour, sitting in the backseat and feeling like the song perfectly captured the loneliness and emotional exhaustion of traveling.

Those moments explain why Best Ex feels so rooted in emotion. Loveland is not simply writing songs that sound nostalgic. She is creating music from the same place that originally made her fall in love with music as a teenager.

Best Ex is ultimately about turning those complicated feelings into something tangible. Heartbreak becomes a song. Insecurity becomes a confession. Nostalgia becomes inspiration. And growing older becomes another story worth telling.

For Mariel Loveland, the emo kid never really disappeared. She simply grew up, picked up a guitar, and found new ways to tell the story.